February is the month of love, but while most conversations revolve around romance, there’s one form of love that often gets overlooked—self-love. The way we treat and understand ourselves plays a direct role in how we perform in both our personal and professional lives.
To explore this, we sat down with international performance coach Alvin Govender, who has spent over 14 years helping individuals and organisations unlock their potential. As the CEO of Awakening Leadership, Alvin’s work centres around productivity, leadership, and personal growth. And according to him, self-love is a key driver of success.
Who is Alvin Govender?
“I’m still figuring out who Alvin is,” he laughs, “but if you’re asking about my career, I’ve been a performance coach for the past 14 years. Before that, I was a schoolteacher, which I’m incredibly grateful for because it taught me how to connect with the mind and soul of a person.”
As a former teacher, Alvin noticed something profound—belief shapes performance. “If my students believed in themselves more, their marks improved. That was the missing piece in education: mindset. And that’s when I realised—this is what I need to be focusing on.”
Fast forward to today, and Alvin runs leadership and coaching programs that help organisations become more productive by focusing on the people within them. “It’s like being a personal trainer—but for your life,” he says. “I get really passionate about seeing people and companies grow through systems that actually work.”
The role of self-love in performance
So, how does self-love affect productivity and success? According to Alvin, self-love is misunderstood—people often associate it with self-care rituals like spa days or watching football after a long week. While these things have their place, real self-love goes deeper.
“Love is one of the most misinterpreted words,” he says. “We immediately think of romance, but at its core, love is an energy, a force that drives us.”
He argues that many of the struggles people face—burnout, anxiety, unfulfilling relationships—stem from not truly knowing who they are. “If you haven’t figured yourself out yet, don’t rush into a relationship—romantic or professional—expecting someone else to fill that gap,” he warns.
Passion, perseverance, and success
Self-love isn’t just a feel-good concept—it’s a key predictor of success. Alvin references Angela Duckworth’s book, ‘Grit’, which defines success based on two factors:
- Passion (Love) – How much do you love what you do?
- Perseverance – Can you keep going despite challenges?
“These two things—love and perseverance—determine how successful you’ll be in anything you do,” Alvin explains. “If you take any goal and score yourself on passion and perseverance, you’ll have a pretty good idea of your chances of making it.”
For business owners and professionals, this means that your level of success directly correlates with how much you love your work. “If you apply for a job just because you need to pay bills, you’re already on the back foot. The real question is—what do you love about this job? That’s what makes you stand out.”
The Dating App Effect: Are We Losing Real Connection?
Shifting gears, Alvin touches on an issue that has reshaped modern relationships—the rise of dating apps. While technology makes it easier than ever to find a date, it has also changed the way people connect.
“Tinder has taken away the effort,” he says. “Before, you had to go through the stress, adrenaline, and excitement of approaching someone. Now, it’s a swipe left, swipe right, instant match. And because it’s so easy to get in, it’s just as easy to get out.”
The real risk? People are falling in love with body parts instead of minds. He references neuroscientist Dr. Joe Dispenza, who predicted that relationships will soon become one of the biggest causes of depression because they are built on shallow foundations. “If you’re not clear on who you are, you’ll keep looking for someone else to fill that void,” Alvin says. “And when they don’t, you’ll leave and repeat the cycle.”
Fall in love with yourself first
So, what’s the solution? According to Alvin, the answer is simple—take a year and fall in love with yourself.
“We are most attracted to high-value people—people who know themselves, own their space, and operate from a place of authenticity,” he explains. “Success, in any area, starts with investing in yourself first.”
For professionals, this means:
- Defining your values before choosing a career or business venture.
- Understanding your strengths and weaknesses.
- Setting clear goals that align with what you love.
For relationships, it means:
- Taking time to figure out who you are before seeking a partner.
- Looking beyond surface-level attraction and focusing on values and authenticity.
Self-love is the foundation of success
The month of love isn’t just about relationships—it’s about how you show up for yourself. Alvin’s parting advice? “Love yourself first, and everything else will follow.”
Whether in business, relationships, or personal development, success isn’t just about hard work—it’s about knowing your worth, having the passion to pursue what you love, and persevering through challenges. Because when you operate from self-love, you attract success naturally.
Listen to the episode
Links
Website: Awakening Leadership
Transcript
Kami 00:00:03 – 00:00:49
You’ve just tuned into InnoStation, but the latest and hottest topics are always on air. I’m your host, Kami, and each episode will be serving up some heat with fun chats, fire insights, special guest appearances, and a couple of surprises along the way. Now, as we all know, February is of course the month of love. And while the focus during this time is usually on love, within a more romantic context, we thought we’d bring the concept of self love into the conversation as well. So today I have international performance coach Alvin Govender joining us to explore how the concept of self love can impact productivity and performance both in your personal and professional life. Welcome to Innostation, Alvin.
Alvin Govender 00:00:49 – 00:00:57
Thank you so much, Kami. I’m excited to be here today and sharing my story and yeah, joining you with this podcast. I’m looking forward to it.
Kami 00:00:57 – 00:01:09
Yes, thank you for being here. I’m excited as well. Now, I think to get us started, let’s get to know you a little bit. Tell us who Alvin is and what fuels you in a fire.
Alvin Govender 00:01:09 – 00:02:10
So I am. Well, I’m still figuring out who Alvin is in the process of doing that. But just to share with you from a career perspective, I found myself in the coaching space in the last 14 years. The CEO of Awakening Leadership, currently running some big projects across the country with the goal of getting organisations to be more productive, to take care of their people and to solve some leadership issues facing many organisations. So I’ve been a performance Coach now for 14 years and with that came motivational speaking and picking people up and finding solutions to problems that companies face all the time and even people issues that people are facing in the workspace. So that’s where I find myself now. And previously I was a school teacher, which I’m very, very grateful for because I think teaching sort of connected me with the mind and the soul of a person.
Kami 00:02:10 – 00:02:11
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:02:11 – 00:02:55
And that’s where for me, leadership starts. It started there in the school. And people always ask me, how do I go from 8 o’clock in the morning right till 5 o’clock in the afternoon, talking to people and still being energized at the end. And I always say that if you’re a school teacher, you learn that very quickly. So I think what fuels my fire, I love what I do. I definitely have a passion for seeing companies grow through this coaching process. So we take a company through a small journey, a three month, six month journey, and in that time we see a difference in terms of results. I think that drives me, what drives me is seeing people put systems in place in their life and getting a different result.
Alvin Govender 00:02:55 – 00:03:08
It’s almost like a personal trainer, but this is not in the gym, but in your life attracting some kind of success. So I get really passionate and excited about seeing growth, whether it’s in a person or in a company.
Kami 00:03:08 – 00:03:28
Oh, cool. And I like the concept of like a personal trainer, but like for life and like for your mind as well. I think that’s a really good analogy to use for that. And you mentioned that you are the owner of Awakening Leadership. Let’s get a little bit into that. Can you tell us the story behind Awakening and why and how you got started?
Alvin Govender 00:03:28 – 00:04:27
Well, actually I was in a classroom and I remember around 2006, 2007, I was in a classroom and almost getting frustrated. Not frustrated being a teacher, but frustrated that we had to teach maths and science and geography to children. But for me there was something missing in education and, and where I started to see a lot of success in 2006 and 2007 with students is that if you are my student, I would, I would get you to believe in yourself more, to love your work more. And I found that as the belief system in this child started to shift, they got better marks. So, so I, I said, no, I think we’re on to something here. Yeah, if I could focus, I started focusing more on getting on. Now I know it was coaching students because back then I was, I was, it was about self esteem and self confidence and leadership and, and children, students. This was the grade five, grade six class.
Alvin Govender 00:04:27 – 00:05:00
So you imagine a 12, 13 year old latching onto some of these leadership principles and changing. So, they started to connect with me. I started to love teaching and have a passion for these children and they started to connect with that. Then I said, I think I’m in the wrong space here. I think I need more time to just work on the minds of these children and help them. By doing that, they will get better marks. I think that’s where Awakening Leadership grew. It was me going in and studying, saying, okay, let me study a little bit more in terms of the psychology of the child, the mind of the child.
Alvin Govender 00:05:00 – 00:05:30
I was already doing that because I remember I was a motivational speaker at the time, speaking at corporate conferences and this was almost like an extra income that I was making. So yeah, I had the leadership background, but I said, let me try and focus more on this. So that’s when I got into it. And that time, and at that time coaching wasn’t as big as it’s. It is now, it’s still a very new concept. A lot like how we talk about AI now. So all of us use the word AI, but we don’t actually know what it is and what it can do. So that’s how I got into coaching.
Alvin Govender 00:05:30 – 00:06:04
And then I started coaching, and I was starting to get started, create my own tools and own way of working. And then I realised that I was already connected with the corporates in South Africa, and I started to work with some of these companies. And although I’m not in a school anymore, I’m now in corporate South Africa, working as a performance coach. And that’s how the transition happened quite naturally, actually. Yeah, that’s how it is. That’s how I got started. It started with children, and I think it’s gonna.
Alvin Govender 00:06:04 – 00:06:21
I think it’s gonna go full circle. I think I want to end up back in a classroom. I can see. I can see that. But Nick there, that’s one of my desires, actually, is to go and take. So. So I think all the listeners will know this, but coaching is quite expensive. So if you got to get a coach, it costs a lot of money.
Alvin Govender 00:06:21 – 00:06:39
So especially the work that we’re doing in some of the projects that we’re running. And I always have in the back of my mind, if I can create a business model that takes this kind of leadership concept into a school, then I know I’ve done something, because if I could take it to students that can’t afford it.
Kami 00:06:39 – 00:06:39
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:06:39 – 00:06:49
And make it available in some creative way, and I think I’m close to doing that. But if I do that, I think then I would be completely happy because I know that’s where I’m going to end up.
Kami 00:06:49 – 00:06:49
Yeah.
Kami 00:06:49 – 00:07:10
And I think that would be. I think that would be really great, because then you would be essentially taking what you’ve learned about leadership in an adult setting in the business setting and bringing it to these kids, and they get to learn all of these things that we learned later on, very early on. And I think that could help them carve out their path a lot better than, like, what we had, because we just.
Alvin Govender 00:07:10 – 00:07:38
Yeah. And if I test the responses that I’ve got. So I’ve got quite a lot of success with. With my older coaches, or they’re like. I work a lot with executives, as, you know, executives in an organisation, a group of vice presidents, a CEO and his team of the best responses I’ve got now to some of these coaching Principles was the 16 to 25 year old age group. These guys are so passionate, they’re so hungry.
Alvin Govender 00:07:38 – 00:08:00
Like people like yourself. They’re ready to soak everything up. And I think for me it’s to catch people at that age, they have the passion already. If I can start working with that age group, I think we will have such a dynamic country. If you could look at it, because you look at the potential in South Africa of these young leaders, I think that’s where I would like to invest my time.
Kami 00:08:00 – 00:08:24
Yeah, it’ll be time well spent because I saw a thing where someone was saying the 20s are sort of where a lot of people start to give up on themselves. So I think having a coach like yourself come in and really take these kids by the hand and help them through will really keep them passionate through like into their 30s and sort of build more stable careers and get into loving what they do as well.
Alvin Govender 00:08:24 – 00:08:27
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Kami 00:08:27 – 00:08:58
And you had mentioned that you sort of saw a correlation between how kids teaching these children while you were a teacher teaching them self love sort of correlated with their grades going higher. Right. And I want to get a little bit into that and how you’ve seen that concept manifest in the corporate world as well. Like how the concept of self love affects how one is able to perform in the workspace and also if they’re like a business owner, how that helps them perform better.
Alvin Govender 00:08:58 – 00:09:23
Yeah, I think, look, I’ll speak to you and please feel free to come in. So it’s almost like I’m coaching you now. So, so let’s just, let’s use you as the test subject here. Love is one of the most misinterpreted words or concepts because when we think about love, we think of romantic love. And it’s one of those aspects now that we don’t get. And you’re speaking to someone who’s walked the journey.
Alvin Govender 00:09:23 – 00:10:01
Right. So I’m much older now, but if I look at the first half of my life, all the depression and anxiety that I got into was because I misunderstood what this thing was, what, what this energy of love. Love is. And when I’m, when I, when I come in, when I say depression, I mean depression, you know, whatever it is, whether it’s a breakup or feeling like you’re not part of the team. And I spoke about young people now. The reason why young people kind of like the, the energy that I bring into the room and the sessions where a success is because I share some of these stories. So I’m very real to say, guys, this is where I messed up. What are your thoughts? I learned from my mistakes. Listen to my story.
Alvin Govender 00:10:01 – 00:10:22
Yeah, so. So the mistake that people make or young people make. And I’m talking about young people that could be 65 years old today because we’re all young in some weird way. But, if you’re not feeling love inside you, then you should not be looking for a relationship.
Kami 00:10:22 – 00:10:22
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:10:23 – 00:10:33
Because you’re going to get into trouble. Now I’m saying something very controversial, but let me say it. Well, what I’m telling you is if you’ve not figured out yourself yet, don’t go and get into a relationship.
Kami 00:10:33 – 00:10:34
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:10:34 – 00:11:13
Because your first, your first mission is to figure out who came and who Alvin is. Because when you get into a relationship, then what you’re going to do is you’re going to fill a void and then you’re going to expect that person there to fold again. And that’s the first mistake I make. And then you go and, and project whatever fears or low self esteem onto someone else. And that’s what we’re finding in the world today. Take any two people that are in a relationship, both are looking to each other for something. And when that other person no longer finds, fills that gap, you get this conflict. You’ll be like, I’m sorry, this relationship is over.
Alvin Govender 00:11:13 – 00:11:36
I’m gonna go and find something else. Someone else. And that’s what, that’s what’s happening now. And, and I want you to think about your own experience. When I say your own experience, I mean even people around you, your friends and family. So, the concept of love is that there’s a beautiful person here. Find out who this person is. Find out what makes you unique.
Alvin Govender 00:11:36 – 00:12:01
I mean, look at me right now. I’m, I’m, I’m more or less very happy with the space that I’ve been in. Not like 15 years ago, where I was, was miserable, things were not working out and all these issues. But now I get up in the morning and I have a smile on my face. And because of that, it attracts other people. So I’m going out for coffee in the afternoon. I’m meeting business partners. You know, it’s, it’s. My life is becoming fuller.
Alvin Govender 00:12:01 – 00:12:05
And the reason for that is because I’m, I’m. I know who I am.
Kami 00:12:05 – 00:12:05
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:12:05 – 00:13:00
And I know who I’m not. So that’s the first aspect of love is that I see a lot of young people out there that are really sad on the inside and going out and looking for someone to make them happy. And that’s and that’s not going to happen. So I’d rather have two people that are experiencing love in themselves come together and that love starts to expand because there’s nothing more romantic than someone coming into your home later, your girlfriend or your husband or your wife walking in through the door and there’s nothing that you need from them but you just enjoying their company without any expectation. It’s just like. And that’s what we’re missing in relationships and that is where we get into trouble. Now coming back to what does have, what does self love have to do with business? It’s actually a brilliant question. Now Angela Duckworth wrote a book called Grit.
Alvin Govender 00:13:00 – 00:13:26
So every person needs to go and read this. She said we can predict people whether they’re going to be successful or not. So grit is now the success indicator in every, in every leadership too. So tell me, will you be successful in the next five years or 10 years? We can predict that. Right. So yes. Whether it’s in your career, in your relationships, in your. Any goal.
Alvin Govender 00:13:26 – 00:13:55
Take any goal. And I can predict that now we look at two indicators. Number one, passion, which is love. How passionate are you? Now if you look at myself, I’m a performance coach. I’m passionate about helping organisations grow. So my passion score out of 10 would be an eight or nine out of 10. According to Angela Duckworth, I have a very high chance of being successful in the next five years. Perseverance means the ability to keep going even though there’s pressure.
Alvin Govender 00:13:55 – 00:14:05
Now that two things are together, passion and perseverance. Now let’s replace the passion. The word passion would love. That’s what we’re talking about.
Kami 00:14:05 – 00:14:05
Yes.
Alvin Govender 00:14:06 – 00:14:33
Where do you see yourself in the next five to 10 years and how much love do you have for that? And that’s what’s going to become success. Help you become successful. Now, right now as we’re speaking, what does it have to do about business? If you go for a job interview right now, we’re going to ask you the question. So why did you apply for this job? What’s important to you? What we’re looking for, you might say, oh, that’s a stupid question because I mean, I need to pay my edge account here. Why else?
Kami 00:14:33 – 00:14:35
To make money.
Alvin Govender 00:14:35 – 00:14:41
To make money. It’s like, and that’s what we’re telling people is that do you love what you do?
Kami 00:14:41 – 00:14:42
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:14:42 – 00:14:55
Because that’s going to be an indication of what value you bring. What’s your worth as a person? What do you feel about yourself right now? Are you a high value person? And this is not about you thinking that you’re better than anyone else.
Kami 00:14:55 – 00:14:55
It is.
Alvin Govender 00:14:55 – 00:15:11
It is. Remember, there’s. There’s a thing that I read when I was 16 years old. It said, God doesn’t create junk. God does not create average. There’s only brilliance inside you. Do you see yourself as. As high value? That means, okay, your life might be in a mess right now.
Alvin Govender 00:15:11 – 00:15:36
If you’re listening to this, you’ve got a whole lot of problems. But in a year from now, things can be different. So if you see yourself as high value, you attract opportunities and people into your life. I don’t have to chase another person because I feel lonely. Loneliness will never exist. In fact, if I am alone, I’ll be like, oh, I got some time to myself. Finally I’m gonna enjoy this moment versus another person versus 20 years ago.
Alvin Govender 00:15:36 – 00:16:11
I’d be like, why am I alone? Why don’t I have anyone? I never reach that space of feeling alone because I’m too full. And Kami, I’m not showing off here in any way. I’m just saying that There’s Alvin 15 years ago, and there’s Alvin now. And that’s the difference between self love and a lack of self love. It’s sort of, that’s what the impact is. My business will expand when I experience love within myself, right? And when I, my. When the amount of love that I have within myself is the amount of self worth that I’m gonna have. And there’s a direct correlation between them.
Alvin Govender 00:16:11 – 00:16:50
Now, I don’t know if you follow any sport, but let’s just say soccer. Cristiano Ronaldo became one of the best footballers in the world. Imagine if he ran onto that football pitch at the age of 20 going, I hate soccer. I’ve been doing it for the last five years. You will not become the world’s best if you don’t have love as the foundation, right? And there’s too many young people that are just doing it because I need to drive a GTI or I need to make money. Money will come. Money will come. When you see yourself as, as a powerful being, it’s planting seeds now and reaping those rewards later on.
Kami 00:16:50 – 00:17:16
And I think that’s the thing. It speaks to a concept that I’m really into, like what your self concept is. And I always say that that affects everything because it’s true. You can chase the money and you can chase the material things, but much like somebody going and sort of finding people to fill the void. You’re also filling the void with those material things. And the truth is it never will be enough. Like you never will have enough. There’s always a new GTI coming out.
Kami 00:17:16 – 00:17:35
There’s always a new thing to have, there’s always a new thing to have. And that void never gets filled and you never feel great and you never feel good in your accomplishments. I think, yeah, that’s an important thing for people to pay attention to, like you need self love in order for you to feel like you are worth the things that are coming in order.
Alvin Govender 00:17:35 – 00:17:39
You’re learning fast. Well done.
Kami 00:17:39 – 00:17:40
I learn very quickly.
Alvin Govender 00:17:41 – 00:17:48
Well, there’s one principle very quickly. I mean write this down. If you’re listening to this now. It’s, don’t chase it, attract it.
Kami 00:17:48 – 00:17:49
Exactly. Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:17:49 – 00:18:16
It’s a simple principle. It’s like chasing it means I need that car or that person to define who I am. It validates me and attracting it means I’m just going to have it because I can have it. And if I don’t have it now, it’s okay, I’ll get it later. There’s no, there’s no word attached to that. It’s like, okay, I drive a nice car, so I’ll be an improper saying. I don’t like driving or having nice things. But independent of those things, I still am.
Alvin Govender 00:18:16 – 00:18:21
I am. And that makes so much sense.
Kami 00:18:21 – 00:18:58
That’s the law of attraction. Like you have to become what it is that you want. You have to believe that you can have it just because in order for it to come in. And I think you’ve just mentioned, while we’re on the topic of self concept and self perception, a lot of what we’ve seen lately with increased social media engagement and increased social media use is a change in how people are perceiving themselves. Would you agree? Or what is your stance rather on the concept of, or the idea of social media having a direct impact on people’s self love?
Alvin Govender 00:18:58 – 00:19:28
Well, we can just look at the data now and what the data is showing. So again I’m, I’m not anti social media. Yeah, again, it’s, it’s the, it’s one of the biggest distractions that we have right now. That and all the other apps, whether it’s social media or just being on your phone, you know, the average South African, in fact, someone in marketing told me to say the average South African is spending between seven to 10 hours a week on, on their phones, on social media. And I almost fell off my chair.
Kami 00:19:28 – 00:19:29
It’s insane.
Alvin Govender 00:19:29 – 00:19:33
It’s like it’s seven to ten hours. So you can get your MBA in that time.
Kami 00:19:33 – 00:19:33
Yeah.
Kami 00:19:33 – 00:19:36
And you’re just on social media.
Alvin Govender 00:19:36 – 00:19:56
Yeah. If you don’t have a degree, you can get a degree in three years if you had to. And I was laughing at the person that says probably seven hours because they ran out of data. It’s probably going to be a lot more because that’s what an addiction is. So you, you know, in one of the ancient scriptures, I’m just forgetting which one it was, it says there’s always this thing in front of you that takes you away from the truth.
Kami 00:19:56 – 00:19:56
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:19:57 – 00:20:39
And the truth is that you are a being of infinite potential. So going back to the professional football players, Messi or Ronaldo, imagine at the age of 17, if these guys were scrolling on their phones, figuring out who am I? They would lose the opportunity. And they never invested in their football skills. And Ronaldo was a multi millionaire. Now would be sitting there somewhere going, who am I? So instead of investing in yourself, you go and you get distracted by the noise outside of you. And that noise, remember we call it dopamine rush. Right. You reach for your phone because you just understand the psychology.
Alvin Govender 00:20:39 – 00:20:58
This is very interesting. So I’m feeling a bit of anxiety. For whatever reason, I’m feeling lonely. I’ve got constant play and I’m stressed about my job. I’m not feeling worthy. And then you reach for your phone and it gives you that Tiktok video, gives you a quick distraction. We call it a dopamine rush. So it’s like eating chocolate.
Alvin Govender 00:20:58 – 00:21:35
So for that few seconds you, you forget. And you could be binge watching series on Netflix or whatever it is. It’s not only social media. So it’s it. All of you are just thinking about this at the moment. What power do you have? What goal do you have that’s important to you? Where do you see yourself in a year from now? And then this device that you have is preventing you from being there because it just pulls you away from what you need to do. And that is why you find that anyone that has a mental health issue, or let’s say if you have a bit of anxiety, you’re really stressed. What you do automatically is you just procrastinate.
Alvin Govender 00:21:35 – 00:22:10
You’ll just be like, okay, I’m not going to gym today, I’ll start fresh tomorrow. Yeah, that’s the sign that your mind is not in a space to create. So procrastination comes from fear and the fear of who you are that causes you to not do so. When I learned this at a young age, I’d be like, I’m gonna keep doing what I need to do to overcome this. When I heard that procrastination is actually a child of fear, I’d be like, no, sorry, I’m getting to be a gymnast. So I don’t listen to that voice. Voice in my head. So, so the, the big thing coming back to your question.
Alvin Govender 00:22:10 – 00:22:31
Yeah. Self love is very interesting. Do you know those people right now? Well, a majority of people that are hooked on their social media get validated from those posts. You look at a person calling themselves an influencer. I mean, I always find that’s a funny word. For me, an influencer is a CEO of a company. Right.
Kami 00:22:31 – 00:22:31
Right.
Alvin Govender 00:22:31 – 00:22:50
He’s a role model to me. He’s a mentor. You know, professional athletes, that’s an influencer, they’ve reached high levels of success. Forgive me for saying this, but now if you dance in your underwear on TikTok, you call yourself an influencer. So if you’re half naked on social media, you’re gonna get 10,000 views.
Kami 00:22:50 – 00:22:51
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:22:51 – 00:23:41
But you’re attracting, you’re attracting a whole lot of people that are looking for a certain thing. It doesn’t make you an influencer. I’m sorry that I’m sounding harsher, but what happens is now you’ve got a whole lot of messages coming into your inbox of a certain kind of person that’s looking for a certain kind of thing, and you’re feeding that and you’re counting all your likes. And what is actually happening is that kind of validation now defines you. You constantly need to post more to get that. And that’s what’s going to lead to depression. Now females need to be very careful that they’re going to attract a group of people. Remember, if you’re posting your physical looks only on social media, then you’re going to attract a person into your life that bases who you are based on just your physical looks.
Kami 00:23:41 – 00:23:41
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:23:41 – 00:23:57
Now you become Kami the podcast lady, because now people start loving you because of your mind. And people like me, because, okay, this is the guy that you bring into a company. If you want some positive change, what you’re putting out there becomes your brand.
Kami 00:23:57 – 00:23:57
Right.
Alvin Govender 00:23:57 – 00:24:09
You need to be careful that you’re not going to create some kind of food future crisis. And, and remember, the dangerous thing about social media is, and I’m saying I’m basing this on the facts.
Kami 00:24:09 – 00:24:10
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:24:10 – 00:24:37
I mean, if you, if you’re getting 100 likes and you are in a relationship and you come home and your partner doesn’t give you that same validation, you’ll be like, sorry, this is enough for me, I’m leaving. Right. And that is why it’s so dangerous. Because now you become. People are more hooked on their phones than real relationships. And the reason is because the phone is giving them. Giving them more validation. It doesn’t matter if it’s a fake world, but it’s still giving them that.
Alvin Govender 00:24:37 – 00:24:54
So no judgment here about social media. It’s just that for me, it’s just a big distraction and it’s taking us away from what’s really important. Unless you’re using social media as a tool to build your personal brand, that’s very different.
Kami 00:24:54 – 00:25:35
Before going to my next question, I’m like, just in defense of influencers, I think there is a big difference between the influences that sort of came up during the era of like TikTok and traditional influences, because traditional influences generally market to businesses. And that’s why a lot of the time you’ll hear people speak about those types of influences, like, oh, they’re unrelatable. Oh, there. Because it really is like a business. It really matters what they post, how they post and what they’re looking like on their socials. But then there are the people that then jump on that bandwagon of that label and sort of post whatever. And I guess that is the validation camp. But shame.
Kami 00:25:35 – 00:25:41
There are influences that genuinely are influencing in its traditional form.
Alvin Govender 00:25:41 – 00:26:33
Yeah, no, I think, I think social media, the positives about social media is that you don’t have to be a professional athlete, an actor now to be. I mean, there are influences that have used just their phone to get themselves to that level, which is commendable. And that is why I said something. If you’re using the title of influencer, but you’re using it to just validate yourself and fill in the void, that’s dangerous. But if you build your personal brand on and you’re adding value to the lives of people, then that’s a positive thing. So that’s why I said there’s neither good nor bad here. It’s just coming down to what’s your intention? Because it is impacting your goals and getting like, I’m going to be using these videos to get my message out.
Kami 00:26:33 – 00:26:34
Right.
Alvin Govender 00:26:34 – 00:27:05
It’s aligning to my brand. It’s the language of my brand. And that’s what each person needs to do. The reason why I’m being so harsh is because in the coaching world I’ve had people come to me that went viral on these social media platforms that went into depression a year later and they told me that it’s because they could not sustain that kind of energy and it became a distraction. So we’ve got to be cautious of how we use any tool in life. And it’s not just social media. You’ve got to set boundaries for yourself.
Kami 00:27:05 – 00:27:05
Yes.
Alvin Govender 00:27:05 – 00:27:08
And you want to know who the real people are because that’s what.
Kami 00:27:08 – 00:27:09
Yeah, sometimes.
Kami 00:27:09 – 00:27:40
And I think that it’s true. Everything isn’t for everybody because yeah, imagine virality is a bit shocking and it is a lot to handle. But you had mentioned sort of women and sort of how we exist on social media and that sort of brings me into my next question. I had a question about what you think, whether you think that self love or lack of self love then affects women and men differently and how you’ve seen that manifest.
Alvin Govender 00:27:40 – 00:28:41
If so, no, I think there’s lots of similarities and I don’t want to stereotype men and women because there’ll obviously be a mix of how we interact. So, so it’s, it’s really about each person and how they are sort of getting that validation and using social media, you know, and, but we have, I have seen some people patterns and I’ll tell you where the risk is. In fact, we’ve predicted, I worked with a group of psychologists through the business and we predicted that women will be more likely to get into depression in the future because, and I’m talking about depression through relationships now. Just hear me out and, and everyone can, can challenge me. But I love this because it’s stimulating our thinking. We find that women are getting more attention on social media. Like just look at anyone right now that posts a pretty picture of themselves. So I posted a nice picture with me in a nice muscle footage shirt.
Alvin Govender 00:28:41 – 00:28:52
I might get like five likes or something. But then I’ll find out they’re all guys, you know, and then I’ll find out, okay, then, then a female posts a picture and there might be a thousand. A thousand likes on that.
Kami 00:28:52 – 00:28:53
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:28:53 – 00:29:14
And, and, and then there’ll be a whole lot of messages coming in. And this kind of boosts the confidence of a female. And this, and this is what we’ve been sort of getting, having conversations with people have been sharing this. So it almost becomes like fatigue. So if a guy comes and tells you oh, you look beautiful. You’d be like, oh, I’ve heard that before.
Kami 00:29:14 – 00:29:17
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:29:17 – 00:29:23
It’s like, oh, you know, so. And it’s almost like men now become starved of attention.
Kami 00:29:23 – 00:29:23
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:29:23 – 00:30:03
And you see it on the dating sites, on the dating apps. Like a female might have a hundred clicks and then you get things like dating fatigue and a bit like, you know, so the danger, the risk. And this is why I’m saying females, based on this data to give me, it’s okay for you to disagree with me because I need more data, you know. And so the risk here is that it’s easier to get into a relationship, so it’s easier to get out. So if this relation. So let’s say you are in a relationship now, it’s six months and you’ll be like, okay, I’m getting more attention on social media. And then you have one argument with your boyfriend and you go like, oh, sorry, this is too much for me. I’m out.
Kami 00:30:03 – 00:30:04
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:30:04 – 00:30:13
And that’s what Tinder is doing, right? Tinder and all these dating apps make it easy to get that first date, but before it was quite an effort.
Kami 00:30:13 – 00:30:13
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:30:13 – 00:30:28
Go through the stress, you go through the adrenaline. How do I talk to this person? Do I ask them out for coffee? And Tinder, it’s taken all that away and now it’s either what, swipe right, swipe left, you get into a relationship and you’ll be like, okay, it’s not working out. It should be easy and easy out.
Kami 00:30:28 – 00:30:29
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:30:29 – 00:30:57
That is what the risks are. The risks are that this female who now has a thousand comments in a message box now gets into a relationship and she finds that the person that’s there is not quality. And it could be the same for a male, by the way. And this is what we say, the basis of you getting into a relationship, should you be. And this has never changed, is that your values need to align.
Kami 00:30:57 – 00:30:58
Right.
Alvin Govender 00:30:58 – 00:31:48
And that missing link right now in seeing a person as they really are and finding an authentic person and knowing a person through all this is what’s missing. So is it different for men and women? We’re still trying to figure this out. So everyone here needs to ask themselves what’s important or what’s real for them. But what we find, woman, the gender trends and, and I’ve been involved in a lot of programmes where we’ve done coaching programs and the general trends is that self love was defined for a female as going to the spa, doing my nails, doing my hair, and it was still based on something physical, going to the gym, you know, and that what self love is but self love for females, listening to self love means starts with the foundation of discovering who you are.
Alvin Govender 00:31:48 – 00:32:18
And for men, it was like quite a rough week. I’m just gonna go to the pub, I’m gonna watch soccer. And, and the obsession with the sport or the obsession with something outside of them became a distraction. And that’s where we found the general patterns with male and female. It’s coming down and coming back to yourself and your self worth and who you are that defines what your investment should be.
Kami 00:32:18 – 00:32:18
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:32:18 – 00:32:21
Is that making sense? I know I’ve said a lot there.
Kami 00:32:21 – 00:33:03
No, that is making sense. And I definitely can agree that there’s a lot of externalisation of, like, what self love is. I think a lot of people have self care and self love misconstrued. And I think self care is rooted in self love. You have to have a love of self to want to show up for yourself in ways of taking care of yourself. But I think because we externalise so much of it, we miss the things that are important. Like you’re saying, discovering who you are and getting those foundational things, like your values in check, what you are about, what drives your passion, and then externalising it and sort of seeing how it manifests itself in the world around you. So, yeah, I definitely agree that there’s a lot of externalisation going on.
Alvin Govender 00:33:03 – 00:33:34
And there’s one more thing that I’m picking up a lot based on this is a lot of people are now saying, oh, you know what, I’ve had such bad experiences with dating. I’m just going to be single. I’m just going to be on my own. And you know, people have said that, oh, you know what, there’s no more good men out there or there’s no good woman out there. And this is the. So if you’ve made those comments. And there’s also a new concept called dating fatigue. So someone who’s never been on a date for the last three years is suddenly going on eight dates a month just because of the social media sites.
Kami 00:33:34 – 00:33:34
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:33:34 – 00:33:54
At the end of all the whole thing, it’s just so frustrating and it’s putting people off because there’s something so unnatural about that process. And I’m not against dating apps. I’m not against this. I’m just saying the process of what you’re doing to yourself is impacting how you see these relationships and how you see yourself.
Kami 00:33:54 – 00:34:32
And that is very true. And I think a lot of the sort of conversation about how there are no good men or good women out there comes down to, if you’re on eight dates in a week, you probably haven’t had enough time to properly vet these people. And so chances are you’re just on a date with people you’re. You’re incompatible with. You’re on a date with people that are like. Because as much as you say you’re not against the dating apps, I’m like, throw them all away. Because at this point, I think they’ve. A lot of them have become more so, like, hookup apps versus people actually seeking, like, genuine relationships.
Kami 00:34:32 – 00:34:49
And so there’s a lot of, like, people coming into contact with people that are misaligned in terms of what they’re trying to do. And then it does feel like, oh, well, there are no good guys or there are no good women, because everybody just wants this and that. And it’s like, no, no, get off the apps.
Alvin Govender 00:34:49 – 00:35:02
I’ll share with you. I’ll share with you a fun story that happened. A quick one. And my friend gave me permission to share this as long as I don’t mention the name, obviously. But, yeah, so he was on the dating site and. And this girl didn’t. I don’t understand this thing, honestly.
Alvin Govender 00:35:02 – 00:35:18
I might sound silly now, but didn’t swipe in the right direction. Swipe right. And then he tells me, oh, this is the girl. You know, we were at the gym having coffee. And then he says, okay, this is the girl. But she didn’t swipe right there. She was there.
Alvin Govender 00:35:18 – 00:35:33
Why don’t you just go say hi? Be like, what do you mean, go and say hi? I say, then she’s there. Go and introduce yourself for me. That’s so normal. I’m quite interested in it. Let me go and say hi and introduce myself. He says, I can’t do that. I says, why? He says, because I’m not like you. I don’t have the confidence to approach.
Alvin Govender 00:35:33 – 00:36:00
And besides, she’s already rejected me. I said, she rejected you because she, she. She didn’t know who you are because on the lineup of, like, 50 other people, now’s an opportunity to be unique. So in my mind, I go, this is so normal. There’s a person who goes and says hi. He was, yeah. And listen to what he said, I’m not as confident as you do something like this.
Alvin Govender 00:36:00 – 00:36:06
And that’s what we need to understand: you need to work on your confidence.
Kami 00:36:06 – 00:36:06
Yes.
Alvin Govender 00:36:06 – 00:36:10
Definitely app as a substitute for that.
Kami 00:36:10 – 00:36:19
Exactly. I think people want you to do interpersonal stuff because you’re always on the screen and it’s like, just go say hi.
Alvin Govender 00:36:19 – 00:36:41
And I’m, and I’m speaking about this as a coach to say, guys, work on your confidence, work on your self esteem. You’re looking now, you met this girl on Tinder. You got married to her. Then she goes to a job and there’s a guy that says, hi there. I must say you look extremely beautiful. I’d like to take care of a coffee now. She says, sure. This guy’s got so much confidence because that’s what’s attractive.
Kami 00:36:41 – 00:36:41
Right.
Alvin Govender 00:36:42 – 00:36:51
Not the guy that’s sitting behind the phone and going like, I can’t approach people. So work on yourself and that will make you more attractive.
Kami 00:36:51 – 00:36:58
Yeah, yeah. In everything. You need confidence. Confidence is essential for everything.
Alvin Govender 00:36:58 – 00:37:08
And, and the research has shown, by the way, I’ve studied this because we did relationship coaching for a few companies. Are those people of high value people? This is male and female.
Kami 00:37:08 – 00:37:09
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:37:09 – 00:37:25
High value people are most attractive. We are attracted to the minds of people, not just their body. So, yeah. And that’s what we need to realise is that if I see someone, a female that’s successful in their role and they own themselves, I’m attracted to that.
Kami 00:37:25 – 00:37:26
Right.
Alvin Govender 00:37:26 – 00:37:42
I want to get to know that person a bit more. So do that. Take a year, guys. Take one year, 12 months. And just say, for the next 12 months I’m gonna fall in love with myself. And, I’ll tell you a quote that can tell me if you like this, Kami. This came from Joe Dispenza, who’s a neuroscientist.
Kami 00:37:42 – 00:37:43
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:37:43 – 00:38:06
He says, in the future, relationships are going to be one of the biggest causes of depression. It’s true in people. And he predicted this. He says because of dating sites. This is a nice quotation to take away today. He says you are falling in love with body parts.
Kami 00:38:06 – 00:38:07
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:38:07 – 00:38:15
And because you’re falling in love with body parts, that’s going to be the basis of your relationship and it’s going to lead to some collapse.
Kami 00:38:15 – 00:38:16
Exactly.
Alvin Govender 00:38:16 – 00:38:18
So you’re attracted to a person’s face.
Kami 00:38:18 – 00:38:19
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:38:19 – 00:38:32
Body. And that’s going to be the basis of a relationship. And your values are so far away. I’m talking about values. Be attracted to a person because of their values.
Kami 00:38:32 – 00:39:20
It really, really is. And bodies change. I think as people, we forget that. Right. Because when you’re on the apps and you’re swiping and it’s fun times, especially in your younger years, you feel like, oh, I’m up and I’m popping. And as much as you can keep up with yourself, bodies do change and also the things that you value do change. So if you start out not necessarily looking to be aligned with people on the things that actually do matter, when you’re older, you’re in a marriage with somebody or you’re in a long term relationship with somebody and you’re on shaky ground because you’ve either outgrown this person or who you’ve become in your aging is no longer compatible with who they are, you know, or you just don’t know each other. You’re like in a relationship with a complete stranger because you thought they were cute and it’s so odd.
Alvin Govender 00:39:20 – 00:39:47
Yeah. Well, physical attraction is an important part of any relationship. We’ll be lying to say that, you know, it isn’t. I mean, if it isn’t important, but if it’s, if it’s only that, that’s the reason why, then something very big is missing inside of you that you can live with. I had, I know a person who was just in with this beautiful person and it was like a status thing for him, like validated him anyway. But this woman was so toxic and abusive towards him. But he took it just because, she’s good looking.
Kami 00:39:51 – 00:39:52
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:39:52 – 00:39:58
And that’s what we’re saying is that physical attraction. But make sure there’s alignment in all the areas as well.
Kami 00:39:58 – 00:39:59
Yeah.
Kami 00:39:59 – 00:40:27
And the thing with physical attraction is you can be physically attracted to a lot of people. So it’s not a good basis to sort of start on. But with that being said, let’s get to know the man behind all of the business and all of the wisdom. When you’re not awakening leaders. Alvin, what are you getting up to? Do you have any hobbies? Anything interesting that you get up to in your free time?
Alvin Govender 00:40:27 – 00:40:50
Look, I think there’s a big connection between who I am and what I’m doing. So I got very lucky. Right. I think, I mean, I think if you look at the work that I’m doing in terms of leadership, it started with me. Oh, by the way, at the age of 16 to 25. And that’s why I like that age group. 16 to 25 is because my life was a mess. And if any 16 to 25 year old is truthful, they’ll say life is in a mess.
Alvin Govender 00:40:50 – 00:41:45
Also, there’s so much to that. Weirdly enough, I don’t know where I got the wisdom from, but my friends were turning outward into other relationships and getting a job and playing professional sport and I was going within myself and saying I need to figure myself out because too much of a mess. So I think I’m still that guy now. I’ve changed the way I’ve looked physically. I mean, I’ve been in the gym for the last 20 years training, so I look completely different than I did 20 years ago. I’ve changed my mind completely. I’m not the personality that I was 20 years ago just because I’ve completely transformed myself. And so I’m fascinated about this person or this being that can be anything in 12 months.
Alvin Govender 00:41:45 – 00:42:08
So yeah, that’s who I am on the weekend, it’s like I’m experimenting. You know, I love meditation and for me meditation is not just sitting and praying and going, God, please, please, please. You know, that’s not meditation. Meditation is just watching the mind. You know, it’s like observing my mind, observing my fears, my worries, my anxieties. And I have a lot of that. So I still love reading.
Alvin Govender 00:42:08 – 00:42:47
I love spending time with positive people. And thankfully my business, if you look at some of the big business owners, they’re motivational, they are, they are inspiring in their own way and we can get to spend some time with them. So that’s the first thing I think the second one is I’ve got a 15 year old, my daughter who is so much of fun, absolute fun. So I’m loving being a dad right now to a 15 year old and I can tell jokes that are not so funny. I can just be there. I can, you know, I’m there. I think my first job as a coach is to be the best father I can for my daughter. So I’m loving that.
Alvin Govender 00:42:47 – 00:43:12
Teaching how to drive now we go to the gym together. We just saw them. A lot of my weekends are just being there and enjoying it. Enjoying her and yeah, yeah, I think she enjoys me as well. So I think I spent a lot of my time with her and then the rest of the time is. So I travel a lot for my work. I’m always with people, I’m always visiting new places. So for me, resting on the weekend is just staying at home.
Kami 00:43:12 – 00:43:12
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:43:12 – 00:43:52
And just enjoying myself and sometimes not having a plan is my plan for the weekend because it energises myself. But I love being in the gym and pushing my body to the next level. And I’m. I’m going to be. I’m 47 at the moment and my goal for my next birthday is to be fitter than I was at the age of 30. So I’m challenging myself to see what I can actually do at this age. And can I still be the, I think, I’m a 25 year old, so. But I still do the things like a 25 year old. That’s why I think that my health goals are quite, quite big. So I’m in the gym almost every day.
Kami 00:43:52 – 00:43:53
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:43:53 – 00:43:58
Weekends are training weekends. I train twice as hard. So yeah, that’s what I do.
Kami 00:43:58 – 00:44:02
When is your next birthday so we can check in and see in June?
Alvin Govender 00:44:02 – 00:44:12
Well, yeah, it’s just a day to say this right. Because now be like, sure this guy’s so overweight he didn’t achieve his goals. So yeah, it’s gonna be my Monday in June.
Kami 00:44:12 – 00:44:21
Awesome. Awesome. I’m gonna check in with you in June and check. And we are very positive over here. So there won’t be any. Very encouraging.
Alvin Govender 00:44:21 – 00:44:25
Yeah, thank you for that. Yeah, thank you for that.
Kami 00:44:25 – 00:44:34
And Alvin, what is one top tip that you could give for somebody that’s looking to cultivate more self love for themselves?
Alvin Govender 00:44:34 – 00:45:21
I think, just sit alone. You know, sit alone. Take a journal. That’s what I did when I reached my lowest point. And there were a few times this happened. I took a journal and I started writing down what’s creating the issue for me and figure yours. Figure yourself out. Don’t run away from yourself. I know it’s hard for some people to not have anyone around and sit alone quietly. Put the music off, put the TV off, put your phone off and go, okay, what’s going on? What do I need to face? Yeah, you don’t realise this camera, but we’re creatures of habit. The same problem that you’re having now, if you don’t solve it, you’ll find that the same problem repeats itself. Look at anyone that’s close to you or people around you and you find that if they’re having a relationship issue, they’re always having a relationship issue.
Alvin Govender 00:45:21 – 00:45:54
If they’re having a financial issue, they’re always having a financial issue. So it’s going to keep coming back to you until you start making a change. But before you start making the change, figure yourself out. Figure what you need to do differently. We are very resistant. I mean the way we are made up, we’re very resistant to doing something differently. That you’re drinking coffee every day at 10 o’clock, you’re reaching for the coffee every day. Now you go and within yourself and tell yourself what am I wanting to do differently? Yeah, do I need to change? And that’s what you need to face.
Alvin Govender 00:45:54 – 00:46:29
I think we need to figure out who we are. The basis for me of self love comes with self management and self management is setting goals for yourself. And that is why I look like working with younger people is because. But one thing I tell him is you have absolutely no idea how powerful you are. But if you’re going to get up every day and do the same things, what is going to be different? So first, the first goal is to face the mess that you’ve created for yourself. You can’t run away from that. And that mess could be you did not study when you’re supposed to be studying and now you don’t have a degree. Right.
Alvin Govender 00:46:29 – 00:47:06
Or you go after relationship after relationship and chase people. Now you’ve got a whole lot of trail of toxic people behind, behind you or you’re in a money mess or whatever it is. Face those things, set some goals around that and go right in 12. And Les Brown was a motivational speaker. He says, just remember, no matter what pain you’re going through in your life, in 12 months from now it’s going to be different. What, what more do you need to realise that you are a powerful being? It’s going to be different. But sit down and write down today what you’re going to change.
Kami 00:47:06 – 00:47:14
Yeah, and as part of that practice, Alvin, are you a believer in sort of radical honesty?
Alvin Govender 00:47:14 – 00:47:40
Yeah, I’m, I’m against toxic positivity definitely. Right. I think, I think I don’t want you to walk out of here going all will be well. All will be well. So, the first thing is, is, and this is what people love I always tell people is like empty motivation. I don’t know if you pick this up. It’s, it’s like we, we don’t want the motivational speakers saying you can do this go out. The new form of motivation is coaching.
Alvin Govender 00:47:40 – 00:47:44
Coaching is okay, Kami, we looked at the data. This is where you’re messing up.
Kami 00:47:44 – 00:47:45
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:47:45 – 00:48:05
Okay. You know I used to be a motivational speaker. This is you’re looking for love everywhere else. You can’t get too much just because you’re buying handbags. All the time. Let’s go now and start putting a system in place. So the new form of motivation is facing the truth. And this is what companies are loving.
Alvin Govender 00:48:05 – 00:48:30
So I went from being the motivational speaker to going, guys, this is what the data is saying. Yeah, what do we do about it? And now where do you see yourself in six months from now? What changes are we going to make? So it’s almost working. And we use the personal trainer example. But the reason why I like using the personal training example is because you can see the weight and you can see the results out and you can see the person doing the exercise and you can see their form is off.
Kami 00:48:30 – 00:48:30
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:48:31 – 00:49:03
So we’ve got a lot of things to change now. If you look at the whole universe as a gym and your mind is like your body, you go to Kami. What are the exercises we need to do to get yourself there? And that’s what potential is. Potential means you can develop the muscle of love within you or abundance. You can have all these things you want to have. I mean, imagine you right now can make as much money as you want. You just need to get your mind aligned. That’s what the law of attraction is. That law of attraction is if I have love inside me, I will attract love.
Alvin Govender 00:49:03 – 00:49:04
I don’t have to look for love.
Kami 00:49:04 – 00:49:05
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:49:05 – 00:49:16
They said there’s two ways of catching butterflies. Number one is to run around with a net and the more you run for the butterfly, the more down the way.
Kami 00:49:16 – 00:49:16
Yeah.
Alvin Govender 00:49:16 – 00:49:43
And the second way is to plant flowers in your garden and the butterflies come to you. And that’s what the law of attraction is. I feel so much love. I feel passion for leadership and I attract money, I attract opportunity, and I just based on who I am. So you attract who you are. And this toxic positivity is just like, say, affirmations. I am wealthy. I am wealthy.
Alvin Govender 00:49:43 – 00:50:01
I am wealthy. But you don’t feel it on the inside. And that’s why people say affirmations don’t work. So focus on the feeling inside. And that’s your magnet. So the feeling is a magnet and that attracts. And by the way, it’s not fluffy anymore. It’s science.
Kami 00:50:01 – 00:50:10
I’m one of the people that’s like, yes, all the stuff they said was woo woo stuff. We finally have scientific backing for it and I’m here for it.
Alvin Govender 00:50:10 – 00:50:13
Yeah, we definitely, definitely have the backing.
Kami 00:50:13 – 00:50:28
But Alvin, before I let you go, I want to play a game of hot takes with you. And how it goes is I give you a series of rapid fire questions and you answer with hot or not, depending on how you feel about whatever the topic is.
Alvin Govender 00:50:28 – 00:50:28
Okay. I haven’t done this before. Yeah, let’s go for it.
Kami 00:50:30 – 00:50:35
Awesome. Awesome. How do you feel about journaling?
Alvin Govender 00:50:35 – 00:50:37
Hot.
Kami 00:50:37 – 00:50:40
How do you feel about scuba diving?
Alvin Govender 00:50:40 – 00:50:46
Not. I wouldn’t do something like.
Kami 00:50:46 – 00:50:53
Yeah, okay. How do you feel about quiet nooks in the workplace?
Alvin Govender 00:50:53 – 00:50:56
Definitely.
Kami 00:50:56 – 00:51:03
Karaoke nights.
Alvin Govender 00:51:03 – 00:51:13
Not something I’m into. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I’m a neutral there. I’m a neutral. Yeah.
Kami 00:51:13 – 00:51:20
How do you feel about the hybrid sort of work format?
Alvin Govender 00:51:20 – 00:51:22
Hot.
Kami 00:51:22 – 00:51:25
How do you feel about racing?
Alvin Govender 00:51:25 – 00:51:33
Car racing. Oh, love hot one. On the track, where it’s safe. Not breaking any laws.
Kami 00:51:33 – 00:51:42
Yeah, had to make that clear. How do you feel about a flat organisation?
Alvin Govender 00:51:42 – 00:51:44
Not yet.
Kami 00:51:44 – 00:51:47
Not.
Kami 00:51:47 – 00:51:51
How do you feel about the Fast and Furious movies?
Alvin Govender 00:51:51 – 00:51:59
Got tired of it after a while. Yeah. So not a fan anymore. But fan initially. Yeah.
Kami 00:51:59 – 00:52:07
Yeah, I think they’ve done too many. How do you feel about olives on pizza?
Alvin Govender 00:52:07 – 00:52:08
Not.
Kami 00:52:08 – 00:52:10
Not. Do you not like olives?
Alvin Govender 00:52:10 – 00:52:13
No, definitely not.
Kami 00:52:13 – 00:52:17
And how do you feel about leg day at the gym?
Alvin Govender 00:52:17 – 00:52:31
Love it. Love it. It’s one of my favorites because it’s favorite because I program. I reprogram a bear a my mind. I hated it. Then I kept saying, I love training legs. I love training legs. And eventually I’m starting to believe it.
Kami 00:52:31 – 00:53:01
I think I should try that for, like, upper body workouts. Upper body. But that brings me to the end of our hot or not section. Alvin, thank you so, so much for joining us. This is such a great conversation. And yeah, if there are any socials that you want to plug in so that the audience can find you and maybe also find your organisation online so that they’re able to get in touch with you for coaching, please let us know what those are.
Alvin Govender 00:53:01 – 00:53:14
Yeah, so I think definitely on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, you can find me. You’ll find the Alvin Govender, the pages, and the Awakening Leadership pages on those platforms.
Kami 00:53:14 – 00:53:23
Okay. We’ll be sure to link those in the description box as well for everybody to find. But yeah, thank you so much
It’s everything. Passion—let’s call it love—is a key predictor of success. Angela Duckworth, in her book Grit, explains that success comes down to two things: passion and perseverance. If you love what you do and are willing to push through difficulties, you’re far more likely to succeed.
This applies to careers as well. Employers look for passion because passionate people bring energy and innovation. The level of self-worth you cultivate within yourself directly affects the opportunities and relationships you attract. It’s about shifting from chasing success to attracting it by aligning with your own value and purpose.