TW: This blog does discuss rape and gender based violence
International Women’s Day arrives every March, marking a moment not just for reflection, but a reminder for society to take action towards the progression of Women. This annual observance takes a united stand on the fight for gender equality, reproductive rights, and the unrelenting crisis of gender-based violence (GBV), a global issue and one that is prevalent in South Africa. Today, women are using their voices for advocacy more than ever, yet, one of the most crucial elements of these conversations is often overlooked: the role of men.
Discussions around gender-based violence and inequality should not just be considered a ‘women’s issue’ where the majority of men remain silent, and uninvolved. The reality is that issues pertaining to women’s rights and safety are a greater societal issue, and it is imperative that men also take a stronger stance to become a bigger part of the solutions we require to affect change. Welcome Witbooi is one such man, using his voice, his life experience, and his platform to drive change from a grassroots level.
From gangsterism to leading positive change
Welcome Witbooi grew up in Valhalla Park, Western Cape. Like many children who grow up in communities plagued by gang violence and crime, the men he saw being respected in society were the ones who commanded the streets with fear. This perceived respect and what it meant to become a man, ultimately led to decisions that would impact Welcome’s life for the foreseeable future.
As a young boy, Welcome explains that feeling invisible was unbearable. The boys on the street corners with expensive sneakers, were the ones community members seemed to acknowledge, and look up to. What started as admiration for him, soon became an association and then part of the group, participating in illegal acts.
As a teenager, at 17, he was arrested and sentenced to 23 years in prison. It was within the cold walls of Pollsmoor Prison, infamous for the dangerous Number’s gang where he ascended the ranks, to become a general of the 28s, the most feared prison gang in South Africa.
Yet, in the depths of this world, Welcome was not at peace with the choices he’d made. Sitting in the prison yard, surrounded by men boasting about their crimes, their abuse of women, and their lack of remorse, there was a turning point for change, where he thought to himself: “If I were to become a father one day, what kind of man would I be?”
Welcome chose to turn his life around for the better, underpinned by the desire to be a man who protects, and one could help change the narrative for other children.
Breaking the cycle
Prison may have been a place of confinement, but for Welcome, it became the birthplace of purpose. He went on to found the BrightSpark Foundation SA, an organisation aimed at steering children away from gang life before they ever feel the need to belong to it.
Bright Spark is not just about intervention, it is about prevention. Many young boys turn to gangs not because they want to be criminals, but because they want to feel seen, respected, and valued. Through mentorship, education, and a sense of purpose, the foundation offers young people an alternative path, one that leads them to empowerment and self-belief.
Today, Bright Spark has worked with thousands of youth, on a mission to prove that change is possible, that cycles of violence can be broken, and that young boys can grow into men who protect rather than harm.
The fight against gender-based violence
One of the greatest challenges South Africa faces today is gender-based violence and the statistics are staggering:
- 11,803 rape cases reported between October and December 2024 alone.
- 273 children were murdered within the same period.
- More than 10 women are murdered daily in South Africa.
These numbers are not just statistics; they are lives, mothers, daughters, sisters, stolen by a culture that devalues women. As Welcome rightfully points out, a man cannot call himself a man while standing complicit in a society that allows these acts to continue. True masculinity is not measured by dominance or aggression, it is measured by the willingness to protect and uplift.
This begs the question. Has society failed in defining masculinity for our young boys? Too often, masculinity is equated with stereotypical characteristics like toughness, where you are considered weak if you show your vulnerability. Boys are still growing up hearing phrases like “Men don’t cry”, “Toughen up”, and “Real men fight”. But this warped definition of masculinity only breeds broken men, men who do not know how to process or express emotions freely, men who turn to violence because vulnerability is not socially acceptable in most homes.
Welcome believes that we as a society need to redefine masculinity. Real men cry. Real men stand up. Real men protect. Vulnerability is not weakness, it is strength. Teaching boys to express their emotions, to acknowledge their struggles, and to seek help is not only crucial for their well-being, but for the well-being of the women and children around them.
Raising boys into men who protect
Parents, both mothers and fathers, play a crucial role in shaping their sons. In Xhosa, there is a saying: “You bend it while it’s still young.” The best time to teach values, principles, and integrity is in childhood. It is far easier to shape a boy than to mend a broken man.
Welcome advocates that fathers must be present, not just physically but emotionally. A boy who grows up seeing a father who respects and uplifts women is far less likely to internalise toxic masculinity. Mothers, too, play an essential role, not in reinforcing traditional gender roles, but in raising sons who understand that power does not come from control, but from kindness and responsibility.
At Bright Spark, the focus is on early intervention, giving youth and young boys in particular, a sense of direction. The life skills programmes are focused on teaching them about respect, integrity, and self-worth. A boy who knows his worth does not seek validation through violence. A boy who is taught respect does not grow into a man who harms.
We all need to be The Change
The fight against gender-based violence is not just about punishing perpetrators, it is about prevention. It starts with raising better men, with creating a world where women and children feel safe, valued, and protected. It starts with the way we raise our sons, with the conversations we have about masculinity, with the choices we make as men every single day.
Welcome Witbooi’s journey is proof that change is possible. No matter where you come from, no matter the mistakes you have made, you can choose to be different. You can choose to be better.
So what can we do to redefine masculinity? Welcome believes we need to accelerate change through our young boys to be protectors, not perpetrators. Let’s make vulnerability a strength and respect the foundation of what it means to be a man. Because the success of our nation is not measured by wealth or power, it is measured by the safety and dignity of our women and children.
True masculinity is not about dominance, it is about responsibility. How do you think we can step up as a nation?
Listen to the episode
Links
Website: BrightSpark Foundation SA
Transcript
Kami 00:00:03 – 00:00:57
You’ve just tuned into InnoStation where the latest and hottest topics are always on air. I’m your host, Kami, and each episode will be serving up heat with fun chats, fire insights and special guest appearances with a couple of surprises along the way. Now, International Women’s Day comes along every year in March, and we typically spend the whole month commemorating a sort of women’s fight for equality, for liberation. And along with the women’s rights movement, this is a time also when we give focus to issues that affect women such as gender equality, reproductive rights, and of course, gender based violence or violence and abuse against women. Now, we think that it is important to have men’s voices and perspectives heard in this space. And so we’ve invited Welcome Witbooi to give us his take on the issues of gender based violence and gender equality. Thank you for joining us. Welcome.
Welcome Witbooi 00:00:57 – 00:01:01
No, thank you for having me. I’m so excited to be on this platform.
Kami 00:01:01 – 00:01:10
Of course, of course. And I think let’s just start off by getting to know you a little bit. Tell us who Welcome is and what fuels your inner fire.
Welcome Witbooi 00:01:10 – 00:02:03
Well, yeah, welcome is a boy that grew up in a little place called Valhalla park in the Western Cape. Yeah. I had my fair share of life challenges and obviously ended up in places that I didn’t want to go to. But those places actually also taught me to become the man that I am today. Welcome is an actor, he’s an author, he’s a father, he’s a visionary, he’s a philanthropist, and he’s also a change maker. And I think to me that’s the most important part of how can you take those challenges that have made you who you are and then craft them into becoming a beacon of hope for many other young people out there to not do the same mistakes that I make, but rather to have opportunities that will make them the leaders they’re destined to be. Yeah, that’s Welcome in a nutshell.
Kami 00:02:03 – 00:02:23
I love that and I love the term change maker for you because your story is one sort of reformation and it is very inspiring and it is very interesting. Now, without giving too much focus to the past, please give us a tidbit about your younger years and sort of how you got involved in South African gang culture.
Welcome Witbooi 00:02:23 – 00:03:06
Yeah, no, it’s that thing of when you have parents, you know, that always want the best for you. My parents were very, how can I say, conservative. They raised me in all the right ways, tried to show me all the right paths, but there’s always been this yearning as a young boy growing up in a community that was so crime infested, gang infested, that I always wanted to look beyond the walls of the house. I wanted to belong somewhere. I wanted to be respected and for me, it was the situation of walking down the streets and not seeing people look at me. To them, I was like, invisible.
Welcome Witbooi 00:03:06 – 00:03:55
I didn’t matter. And yet the boys on the street corner, yet the boys at the shop corners hustling, they were the ones that the people in my community revered. They were the ones that the people looked up to. And I kind of had this envy to be like them. That for me, became my focus of saying, how can I be like them? That is when I decided to draw closer to them and only to find out later that while I was drawing closer to them that they were actually in the gang. You know, obviously one thing led to the next, and from that moment on, I joined them, sat with them, started walking with them, started talking with them, and I was just part of them. And when you are part of a group, you have to do what the group does.
Welcome Witbooi 00:03:55 – 00:04:40
Yeah, when they are up to no good, I’m up to no good. When they’re robbing, stealing, doing bad things, I’m also there robbing, stealing, and doing bad things. So it became kind of like a sense of wanting to belong. And the more I did these things, the more I lost my identity, the more I lost who I was, and the more I was sucked into the violence, into the trauma, into the state of not feeling worthy and constantly having to prove myself. And that’s how I got lost and joined the gangs. And then I joined the gangs when I was 12 until the age of 17. So, yeah, that’s just how life was for me.
Kami 00:04:40 – 00:04:59
Now you are a very different man today, Welcome. And I just, having heard your story, like a couple of times over, I first of all, am so proud of you. That is… it’s very hard to sort of turn your life around in that way. And I want to know, what is it that led you to sort of step away from the gangs and the life that you lived before?
Welcome Witbooi 00:04:59 – 00:05:29
I think for me, it was, you know, that thing, especially when we’re speaking about Women’s Month. When you’re in the gangs, there’s no respect for women. You are taught that women are just tools to be used. You are taught that women are not to be respected because they are Poison. You are taught that women are not good and you kind of live in that mentality of also falling into the abuse of women.
Kami 00:05:29 – 00:05:30
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:05:30 – 00:06:32
Not listening to my grandmother, not listening to my mother, just doing what I want to do because as I believe, I’m the man. And for me, it kind of brought me into a space of thinking, is this really the type of life that I want to live? You know, at the age of 17, got arrested and was sent to Baltimore prison. And while in there, I mean, having been sent to prison for 23 years kind of made me understand that my life was over and that I would never live beyond. You know, if you’re sending me to prison for 23 years, I’ll probably come out and cars will be flying in the future then. But when I went into prison, I realised even in prison, becoming part of the numbers gang, rising within that culture of the number, the prison and environment, and becoming a general of the 28s, I felt pretty dominant. I felt very strong.
Kami 00:06:32 – 00:06:32
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:06:32 – 00:07:41
But there’s one moment when I sat in the courtyard and a question came to me. As I was hearing these men talk about how they abuse women, how they rape, how they kill, and. And actually not even having any remorse for what they’ve done, a question came to me, and the question was, if I were to be a father one day, what kind of father am I going to be, especially to a girl child? And for me, that was the day when I decided that, “you know what? I’ve had enough of this life.” I really want to change my life, not just for the sake of having a daughter, but for the sake of what type of man am I going to become if I do not realise the fact that women, the most important parts of our lives, and without them, we would not exist because they make everything grow. And for me, that was the part that changed my life forever. To say, how do I defend women that are also abused? How do I step up and say, I want to be a different man? Instead of a man that abuses, I want to be a man that protects. And that’s when my journey started for me.
Kami 00:07:41 – 00:08:08
And, I mean, you’ve managed to sort of change your purpose for good, right. I think a thing that we need to speak about also is, like, it takes leadership qualities. Like, you had innate leadership qualities, because you don’t just climb up the ranks like that, and you sort of managed to take those leadership qualities and turn them into something beautiful today. And especially through the work that you’re doing now. So tell us a little bit about your organization and sort of the ins and outs of that.
Welcome Witbooi 00:08:08 – 00:08:52
Yeah, no. You know, Bright Spot Foundation, I always say to people, was born and bred in prison. It was a… except where I looked at the world from a different view and I realised that I don’t want many other young boys to come into a place like this where their hopes, their dreams are destroyed. Because in prison, you have to also fight many other parts of yourself. And boys get lost in that world. And I didn’t want young boys to come into that space. Hence, I developed the concept of Bright Spark foundation as a way to deter them from going into gangs because they needed to belong somewhere.
Welcome Witbooi 00:08:52 – 00:09:49
I wanted to deter them from joining gangs because I felt that if they only knew how awesome they were and the potential to achieve whatever they want to achieve, the Bright Spark foundation would be that beacon of light, would be that beacon of hope. It would be a place that would inspire them to look at the light instead of the dark. Despite the fact that they come from different environments and different circumstances, it was the Bright Spark foundation that could teach them to look beyond their circumstances and step into their talents, step into their gifts, step into what makes them amazing as not just young boys, but also as young girls. And that is why the Bright Spark foundation became a beacon of hope for many, many young people out there. And today I can sit here and gladly say that we’ve saved thousands of young people’s lives and we continue to save thousands of young people’s lives. And that brings joy to my life, of course.
Kami 00:09:49 – 00:10:20
Oh, my gosh, of course. I think the story of Bright Spark is so beautiful. And that is also part of the reason why we thought that you would be the perfect person to have this conversation with. Just considering your context, your past context, and sort of how you’ve managed to turn everything around into something more positive. And you mentioned before that, like, one of the biggest challenges we do face in South Africa is gender based violence. And just taking your context into consideration, what is your perspective on this issue as it stands now?
Welcome Witbooi 00:10:20 – 00:11:27
You know, the most important thing, and I do want to use the stats as a way of just clarifying when the latest police stats came out, I’m thinking we’ve got 11,803 rape cases were reported to the police. That was between October 2024 and December 2024. 273 kids murdered in South Africa between October 2024 and December 2024. These are alarming statistics. You know, even thinking that more than 10 women are murdered every single day in our country. And I felt like I was in. If I step into my role as a man, how can I define being a man? If I myself am a perpetrator, if I myself have a hand in the rape, in the murder, in the killing of children, then how do I go out into the world and call myself a man? How do I definitively stand that crowd with other Amachita and say to them, we’ve made it, guys. We’ve made it in life.
Welcome Witbooi 00:11:27 – 00:12:15
And yet we haven’t, because we have then failed to protect our very important asset, which is our women and our children. And for me, I feel like even in Women’s month, as men, we need to look at success differently. The success of our woman is the success of being a man. If our country grows and our women feel safe and our women are protected, that defines our success as mentioned. Going to prison does not define us as being men. Going to the army does not define us as men. Being macho and fighting on the streets and drinking the sheep in the she beans does not define us being men. What defines us being men is stepping up and saying, I’m a good father, I’m present and I’m available.
Welcome Witbooi 00:12:15 – 00:12:53
I’m a good husband. I’m present and I’m available. That defines us as men. And that is why our fight against GBV will continue until we can reach the stage where we are. We can say to ourselves that we have, we have made it to a point of changing the narrative and empowering young women, empowering young men, teaching them to be good men when boys become men. To say the only way that you can become a successful man is to protect those that are our most prized assets, which are our women and children.
Kami 00:12:53 – 00:13:24
Yeah. And I mean, also with Bright Sparks rights, you put a special focus on children specifically. I mean, you could have started the foundation and worked with, like, full grown adults, but you chose children in particular. And was this out of a belief that, like, as a society, do you think we are defining masculinity correctly for our children just in the way that we are raising them? And what role do you think that, like, the mom and then the dad as well is playing in sort of defining masculinity, especially for little boys?
Welcome Witbooi 00:13:24 – 00:13:57
And I think we failed a lot in that process because masculinity in many cases has been brought forth in an incorrect way. Our sons see masculinity, like I said, as standing up and being macho and fighting. So that you can have your place at the table. But yet masculinity has a lot to do with vulnerability. It has a lot to do with crying and saying, as a man, I am hurt by what I’m seeing.
Welcome Witbooi 00:13:57 – 00:14:27
Masculinity has a lot to do with being a man. I see what’s happening, and I want to step up and help. I want to make a difference. Masculinity is so much more than just muscle. Even the word itself needs to be changed to a point of saying, instead of masculinity, let’s look at vulnerability. Let’s step to it and allow our boys to express vulnerability more instead of hiding from it.
Welcome Witbooi 00:14:27 – 00:16:20
I think our parents, both women and men out there, have got this statement where they say that men don’t cry, boys don’t cry. I think we need to embrace the fact that boys should cry. It is important for them to cry because the minute they cry, they are able to release whatever tells them that they are not worthy, whatever tells them that they have not made it in life, whatever holds them back. Their tears are a way of letting go. Allowing them to step into who they are as men, especially in the role of protecting those that need protecting. So I feel like those are the types of dynamics that I feel that we have a lot to learn, and we, as a foundation, are trying to bring that point across. Your question was, why are we working with children? Because we feel that in Xhosa, they say you bend it while it’s still little, because when you bend it while it’s a little, it is possible to infuse in a child noble ideas, values, principles, and models that will make the community strong. Nowadays, it is easier to work with a boy than to work with a broken man, because it takes a lot of work to bring the broken man from where he is to where he needs to be. But when we start young, you are able to infuse in kids a sense of direction. We are able to infuse in them a sense of integrity. We’re able to teach them what it is to do right and what it is not to do wrong. So that’s why we work with young people, because we feel that they are the future of our country, and therefore we need to focus on them.
Kami 00:16:20 – 00:17:06
And I think that is very important because just from your own story and just from personal experience as well, I think when you are very young, there’s so much of a need to, like, fit in and to find your place and So I think things like Bite Spark are very important because they give kids a sort of a more positive place to go to where you find people that are like you. You find people that perhaps come from similar backgrounds to you, and it gives them a sort of more positive environment to grow up in. Especially in communities where the average thing that is happening is that there is violence. There are a lot of negative things that are happening. So I think, yeah, while you’re young is where you should be sort of enclosed by a community that is trying to help you grow in a more positive way.
Welcome Witbooi 00:17:06 – 00:17:07
Yes.
Kami 00:17:07 – 00:17:19
And do you think that sort of healing the dynamic between men and women plays a bigger role than we give it credit for in terms of trying to heal communities that are affected by violence?
Welcome Witbooi 00:17:19 – 00:18:08
I think there’s a big misconception and this is what we do as a society. We sometimes think that when a woman is raped, we have a whole lot of women standing at the court and supporting that woman and crying for justice and all of that. But there are no men in that pool or in that protest. It’s just women going to court. And I feel like we need to come as a society that both male and females must stand together in protest against rape, against femicide, against the murder of women and children. Both sides need to be very active in that engagement. It shouldn’t be a situation if she was wrong, he was right, he was right, she was wrong.
Welcome Witbooi 00:18:08 – 00:19:00
It is where situations in our country sometimes divide us. Why was she wearing a mini skirt to begin with? Why was she going there to begin with? The fact that she was there does not mean that she had to get raped. You know, it’s that situation if we as a society need to come to a place of realizing that both men and women have a responsibility to defend the justice of anybody. And not just even if it’s a man. If a man also gets into a situation, it’s that both parties, male and female, need to stand together. But what we see is that we see men have their own camp and women have their own camp. We see that we are feminists on this side. We have masculine men on this side, we have men’s organisations doing this, we have female organisations doing this.
Welcome Witbooi 00:19:00 – 00:19:47
So many people have a good intention of wanting to change the narrative, but yet the groundwork is not central to love, it’s not central to compassion, but rather more ego driven and say, look at what I’m doing. I’m changing the world. By bringing their own perspectives and their own perceptions, onto somebody else’s suffering, onto somebody else’s despair. Because we do not know what the woman that has been raped is going through. We do not know what the man that has been falsely accused is going through. You know, they are the ones that know what they’re going through. Hence we need to support both parties. Because in our country we have a statement that says you are, you are innocent until proven guilty.
Welcome Witbooi 00:19:47 – 00:20:28
But on social media we know that it’s the reverse of that. You are very much so until proven innocent. And even though you have been proven innocent, there’s no coming back and apologising. The woman’s not going to raise a hand and says, you know what? Because of A, B and C, I falsely accused this man, the man. You know what? Because I was angry at her choosing somebody else and dating another guy, I decided to take her life. You know, I apologise. I’m sorry. What can I do to make amends? It is that type of society that we need to create that steps into accountability and say, how do both parties take accountability so that they can really, truly step into this if we are protecting our world from becoming worse.
Kami 00:20:28 – 00:21:05
Yeah. And I like that you do sort of that comparison or that sort of two sides of the coin between men also being affected by that. And that’s going to take me into my next question. But before that I want to ask you, why do you think, because you mentioned that in a lot of like where women are going to court for sort of gender based violence and rape and all of those kinds of things that you find that it is more women outside that are protesting. Why do you think it is that we’re not seeing any men there? Because I mean, we all know like men that are against these things and we speak out against them. But why do you think it is that they’re not like that?
Welcome Witbooi 00:21:05 – 00:21:52
I think it’s like I said, it’s the culture of our society. Because he’s afraid his friends will ask him, you know, or sitting with men and they will say, oh, what if Lomfazi, she did something to this guy. That’s why he did what he did. You know, men don’t want to sit in circles and have to justify their good intentions. Instead of just having a guy in our circle having been at a protest and encouraging him, saying, you did a good job to go there. Yeah, we don’t encourage these men. We push them down. Even when you ask about why we show little men sitting in support groups or standing in protest groups is because even some men that are being there are victims of abuse.
Welcome Witbooi 00:21:52 – 00:22:54
When they go to the police station, the first thing the police do is that when they go there and say, I’m here to report a case of abuse, the police laugh and say, but hey Baba, how can you be a reporting abuse window? It doesn’t make sense. You are a man. How can a woman beat you? And yet these things happen. So men do feel very vulnerable and they step into their vulnerability and they feel like we can’t go out there and show the world how vulnerable we truly are because the world will laugh at us. So it’s a very difficult situation. Hence I’m saying that, the narrative or the drive or the advocacy needs to change to say, how do we empower men to become catalysts of truth? How do we empower men? To become advocates of GBV and fight against this without fear of judgment, without being told that you’re a betrayer of men.
Welcome Witbooi 00:22:54 – 00:23:36
You’re supposed to be standing with us, but now you are standing with women. It’s gonna be a long job, but it needs to happen. Someone has to do it at some point. And we as Bright Spark foundation have decided that we don’t just want to deal with gender based violence, but we want to deal with gender based violence in young people. So we’ve got within Bright Spark foundation, we have a gender based violence Ambassadors program where there are teenagers that work with other teenagers that have been affected by gender based violence. Either the mother was impacted, either the father was impacted, either the sister or the, or the brother.
Welcome Witbooi 00:23:36 – 00:23:41
But we kind of understand where they are from. Because these kids must go to school.
Kami 00:23:41 – 00:23:41
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:23:41 – 00:23:49
And they must try to live a normal life. But while the rest of the world is focusing on the mom and the father, who focuses on the child.
Kami 00:23:49 – 00:23:49
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:23:49 00:24:10
That has been in the midst of all of this happening. Who focuses on the child that has lost her mom because of gender based violence. Who focuses on the son that has lost their sister or brother through gender based violence? No one. So that is why we have the gender based violence Ambassadors program for teenagers to support teenagers that are going through those things.
Kami 00:24:10 – 00:25:01
I love that. And I think that is very close to my heart because I grew up within that sort of context. And it is true, like everybody focuses sort of on the parents that are affected and very little is done about like the kids that were also in the situation. And I think things like Bismarck, have they been there back when I was a teenager, definitely would have helped a lot. But I mean, things like church that help and sort of having family and just great role models around to sort of help you out as well. And so I’m so happy that you guys are doing that because it also needs to be a focus on the kids that are affected because we genuinely are, you know. And I like that you mentioned that sort of there is a lot of violence that is perpetuated against men as well. And the way that it is received when they report on that isn’t necessarily the best or the most empowering for more men to then be able to come forward.
Kami 00:25:01 – 00:25:37
Right. And I think a lot of the conversations that we have happen around women, I think just because of how the stats are set up. And it needs to be said though that like, not just women are prone to like finding themselves in these situations. Right. And we don’t speak enough about the boys and the men that are affected. So in terms of gender sort of equality within the context of gender based violence, what is your take on that and how do you think that we are doing in the conversations that we are having around gender based violence right now in terms of focusing on men as well?
Welcome Witbooi 00:25:37 – 00:25:47
I think I would be honest to say because I do believe that we’re having an honest conversation. Yeah. When we look at the stats, we are not doing much.
Kami 00:25:47 – 00:25:48
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:25:48 – 00:26:39
When we look at the fact that women, even in 2025, until this time, we are not doing enough. We really are not doing enough. I feel like we… There’s a whole lot of lip service in our country. We have a government that speaks on, on, on gender based violence being on the top of the list. And yet when it comes to dealing with the issues, it’s not on top of the list. We have a whole lot of inequality with regards to gender based violence. Not so long ago, we saw a woman being abused at a police station by two other police officers. She came in there to lay a charge against her abusive boyfriend and she ended up being beaten up by two female police officers.
Welcome Witbooi 00:26:39 – 00:27:42
So it’s very difficult to understand that femicide or violence against women is not just perpetrated by men. It is also women perpetrating on women. You know and for me it is sometimes difficult to see this because how does another woman beat up another woman? And in many cases when we work closely with the police, we’re doing raids on homes that they use kids for sex slaves. When we crack down on these homes and these syndicates, we kind of find at the end of the day, we’ve got these 60 girls between the ages of 14 to 9 chained up in a bathroom because they were sold as sex slaves. And at the head of the syndicate is a woman. That is sad that you would let these children, girl children suffer at this, it’s sad to see women in these positions. So the war on gender based violence is not one sided.
Welcome Witbooi 00:27:42 – 00:28:00
Yeah, gender based violence is against women that perpetrate and it’s against men that perpetrate. It’s against people of power that perpetrate. People that are in positions of authority that think that they can just abuse women and abuse little boys and.
Kami 00:28:00 – 00:28:00
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:28:00 – 00:28:56
That they can get away with it. So when South Africa is ready to have that conversation, welcome is here. We can sit and talk and say, let’s look at ourselves and say, when something happens to our own daughters, how many of us as men look away and say, well, it’s life she needs to learn. How many of us truly step in and say, as a father, I’m stepping in to protect my daughter against these perpetrators. Instead of saying how many of us that have sons, when our sons treat women in a certain way, do we call them back and say, you’re not supposed to be treating women like that. But instead as men, we sit in a circle and we praise them for being stubborn, we praise them for being violent, we praise them for being arrogant. So until then, the conversation continues.
Kami 00:28:56 – 00:29:14
And that brings me, that is a very great segue into my next question. Right. Because you are a father yourself and I want to know how you view the role of fathers and male role models in sort of promoting gender equality for future generations, especially within the context of gender based violence and things like that.
Welcome Witbooi 00:29:14 – 00:30:17
Yeah, no, you know, being a father to a girl child is, is, is, is the most exhilarating and interesting journey. She drives me up the wall, but it is a wall that I’m prepared to be driven up on. Because when I look at her, I look at the future of this country, keeping her safe, creating in her the independent woman that she needs to become. You know, motivates me every single day to wake up and say, how do I create a world where my daughter can walk from the bus stop to the house safely and even men escort her home and saying, can we escort you home? Instead of, you know, living in a world where these men will think of raping her. I don’t want the world to be like that. I want a world where my daughter will feel safe. I wonder where other daughters will feel safe. So being a father in this dispensation, especially in 2025, is tough.
Kami 00:30:17 – 00:30:19
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:30:19 – 00:31:05
Because we have, we have millennials out there, we have dozens there. The lingo, you know, the conversations are different. It’s just, I wanna create a world where everybody can just step into accountability. I want to create a world as a father where my daughter can step into accountability and not just expect men to be, to be, to be good, but also women to be good women to their men. I want my girl child to grow up to be a consenting agent, she has a boyfriend. To be responsible within her relationship and, and treat her man with dignity and respect. And so he must also treat her with dignity and love.
Welcome Witbooi 00:31:05 – 00:31:22
That’s what I want to see in the world where both parties can love each other and look past the differences of what my grandmother and my grandfather used to do, but look at what we need to do as this generation to ensure that we have good values within our relationship.
Kami 00:31:22 – 00:31:35
And on that note, what would you say sort of to young men that today feel like they need to sort of assert, to prove their masculinity by being violent or controlling or dominant over women?
Welcome Witbooi 00:31:35 – 00:32:12
You know that I always say, and this is, I say this, and I say this to all men with love. It is a foolish man that raises his hand to a woman. It is the stupidest thing you can do because it does not make sense after that blow. It’s not going to infuse your love. It’s not going to make your love grow deeper. It’s not hitting or beating up or hurting a woman, does not give anything, does not add any growth to your life as a man. In fact, it takes away your joy.
Welcome Witbooi 00:32:12 – 00:32:42
It takes away the love that you can give. It takes away the protection that you can offer. Hitting a woman takes away every part of who you are as a man. It eats at you. It becomes a disease. So that’s the first thing I would say to men out there. I think that loving a woman, protecting a woman and enduring a woman in spite of what she does to you is the most beautiful way to step into your vulnerability.
Welcome Witbooi 00:32:42 – 00:33:13
Because love always wins. Love always wins. There’s nothing as beautiful as a gentleman in your space. And I know most women will agree with me. Just looking at a man being gentle, having all these muscles, and yet he’s a teddy bear you can love forever. But a man that has muscles and he just breaks everything is not a man that you can love forever. That’s just a bad boy mentality, which is going to end badly for both of you. A toxic relationship.
Welcome Witbooi 00:33:13 – 00:33:34
It’s going to end up in a relationship where there’s never going to be any family values or anything. I mean, I’m just being straight and I’m giving it to you as honestly as I can. Yeah. Within any relationship does not solve any problems. In fact, it increases the problems. In fact, it holds captive. It keeps you in that box of toxicity over and over again.
Welcome Witbooi 00:33:34 – 00:33:51
If it was me out there, I would say to women, choose a man that is gentle, choose a man that is kind. Love him, protect him, nurture him, and he’ll do likewise. That’s the essence of the situation.
Kami 00:33:51 – 00:34:08
And welcome. In light of International Women’s Day, are there any specific women or is there a specific woman that you would like to give a shout out to? Perhaps someone who showed a lot of strength and leadership that sort of changed your perspective on life or someone who sort of helped you along your journey?
Welcome Witbooi 00:34:08 – 00:34:42
I think for me, there’s this lady that I always say, Karina Anderson. She was my responsibility coach while I was in prison, and she used to come to prison bare feet. There was a rule in prison that you do not hug the offenders. It was not allowed. This woman didn’t care about that rule. She would come into prison bare feet and she would hug us, and she would hug them. The life out of us. And that for me, gave me a difference.
Welcome Witbooi 00:34:42 – 00:35:03
I looked forward to those Tuesday sessions. I looked forward to Thursday sessions because more than the lesson itself, I looked forward to the hug. Yeah, it made me feel warm. It made me feel loved. It made me feel like I was a person. Because a person has the tendency to make you feel like you’re an animal. You are nothing.
Welcome Witbooi 00:35:03 – 00:35:23
You’re wasting away and all of that. But yet with her coming into that space, she brought so much love, she brought so much light. So I would never. I don’t think that I would have been able to survive parts of prison if it wasn’t for that woman. So thank you to Karina Anderson for having been a beacon of my light.
Kami 00:35:23 – 00:35:57
That is so beautiful and it is so true that, like, a little bit of tenderness does go a long way. Because I saw a video yesterday of this young boy. He seemed to be like in his late teens, and there was a police officer, like he was cuffed and everything. And he was standing against the police car and the police officer sort of spoke to him. And it’s a very aggressive interaction at first. And then you see this police officer sort of say something to him one last time and then just grab him and pull him into a hug. And when I told you this boy cried, I was like, I was tearing up a little bit too. It was such a beautiful interaction.
Kami 00:35:57 – 00:36:12
And it was very much like your father sort of reprimanding you and teaching you something and then still receiving you with so much love at the end of it all. And yeah, no tenderness does go a long way in sort of helping people sort of turn themselves around as well.
Welcome Witbooi 00:36:12 – 00:36:14
Definitely.
Kami 00:36:14 – 00:36:25
And what do you believe that we can do to sort of influence a more sustainable change for future generations, especially within the context of the work that you do with Bright Spark?
Welcome Witbooi 00:36:25 – 00:36:40
I think for me it is just inviting people to come along. This is a great journey. It’s a beautiful journey. It’s also encouraging people to look away from their own life sometimes. And, you know, people are all trying to survive.
Kami 00:36:40 – 00:36:40
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:36:40 – 00:37:13
Instead of trying to survive, live a little support, Come along and, and get involved, go to schools with us. Sustainability. When we talk about sustainability, like get involved in our program, walk with us, see the work that we do, support the work that we do. If you can’t be there physically, there’s many other ways to support the work that we do. Because I believe that without organisations like Bright Spark and many other organisations out there that are doing amazing work, without their support, our society would be ripped apart a long time ago.
Kami 00:37:13 – 00:37:14
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:37:14 – 00:37:55
Communities are keeping the fiber of our communities together. And it’s important for people out there to support us, in whichever way they can, whether through donations, whether it’s through giving things, whether it’s through having a conversation with it, through mentorship. But yeah, the thing is, yes, you are asking yourself, but what can I do? The little that I can do? Because it’s so. It seems like I’m doing nothing. No, just, just, just saying and telling people about the work that Bright Spark foundation does. You know, just. Just going to a school and visiting one school with us is doing something. Even giving a 5 Rand towards the work that we do is something.
Welcome Witbooi 00:37:55 – 00:38:04
My thing is just, just do something. I think I want to start a campaign where I just say do something. No matter how little it is, just do something.
Kami 00:38:04 – 00:38:14
Yeah, that’s it. And if somebody does want to get involved, where do we sort of find Bright Spark and info on Bright Spark? Are there any socials or websites that you would like to plug?
Welcome Witbooi 00:38:14 – 00:38:23
Yeah, no, you can just google Bright Spark foundation SA. The SA is important because there’s another Bright Spark out there, which is a plumbing service. I don’t think you need plumbing. So do Bright Spark Foundation SA or just search Welcome Witbooi and then from there you’ll get all the information that you need on us. Or you can just call me directly on 084-790-6368. It’s a very open number so you can call a message. Even if you need help as a mother, even if you need help as a father, even if you need help as a boy, as a girl, we are there for you. We got your back. Provided that you stay close to us.
Welcome Witbooi 00:38:54 – 00:39:16
Because hey, traveling to the Eastern Cape and Durban, not a good idea. We’ll go on holiday provided you are prepared to talk to me while I’m swimming. I’m good with it. So yeah, communicate. Find us on, on, on, on the Internet. We are all over and. Yeah, and so that’s, that’s, that’s what I can say from my side.
Kami 00:39:16 – 00:39:49
Awesome. And we will make sure to plug all of that information in the description box so everybody can find it. But before I let you go, welcome. We have a little game that we play here on Interstation called Hot Takes and I would love to play around with that with you. So how it works is I just give you rapid fire questions and you just answer hot or not depending on how you feel about it. And then if you do, if something interesting jumps out, we can get into that a little bit. Okay, awesome. So how do you feel about a no excuses mentality?
Welcome Witbooi 00:39:49 – 00:39:51
No excuses mentality… Not.
Kami 00:39:51 – 00:39:57
Not, why?
Welcome Witbooi 00:39:57 – 00:40:50
I think with all the information that we have when we talk about no excuses, I think as a society, we tend to think that we can just apologise our way out of things. You know, we can just, we can just smooth talk. I think quickly. It’s that thing of when a man hits a woman and he comes back with a bunch of roses. You know, it’s just that culture of, ‘I don’t know’. I just feel like I don’t like that mentality because it kind of lets us get away with certain things. I don’t know if I understood the no excuses dynamic. But for me it’s like, yeah, there shouldn’t be excuses. I think you just know what is right and what is wrong so that you don’t have to apologise at the end of the day. It’s just doing what is right, you know?
Kami 00:40:50 – 00:40:54
Okay, then I think your answer would have been hot just from your perspective.
Welcome Witbooi 00:40:54 – 00:40:55
Okay.
Kami 00:40:55 -00:40:57
Because I was like, not?
Welcome Witbooi 00:40:57 – 00:41:00
No, I’m still getting the game. I’m still getting the game. Please.
Kami 00:41:00 – 00:41:07
No, it’s okay. How do you feel about motivational talks at schools?
Welcome Witbooi 00:41:07 – 00:41:21
Oh, definitely not. Guys, I’m an inspirational speaker. Not a motivational speaker, by the way. But I don’t agree because I feel like it’s a one hit wonder.
Kami 00:41:21 – 00:41:22
Okay.
Welcome Witbooi 00:41:22 – 00:41:29
Yeah, it’s a one hit wonder. You are there for one day and then you go, yeah. I feel like our kids need much more than just motivational talks.
Kami 00:41:29 – 00:41:30
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:41:30 – 00:41:57
Our kids need interaction. They need intervention. They need real conversation that could lead to the next. You can’t just come into school. And I especially hate it when I get called to school and the school says to me, you got 15 minutes. I’m like, ‘I’m choosing not to do 15 minutes. It’s fine. I’ll come back when we have a life orientation class and have 50 minutes with the kids instead of having 15 minutes.’
Welcome Witbooi 00:41:57 – 00:42:17
Motivational talks at schools. Big. No, no. For me, inspirational talks at school, that goes just to inspire young people. That’s okay. But no. No motivation. Imagine telling a person I started my business with this one grain of rice.
Kami 00:42:17 – 00:42:26
No, that makes sense. That makes sense. I actually agree now that you’ve explained that, I’m like, yeah. And how do you feel about taste testing coffee?
Welcome Witbooi 00:42:26 – 00:42:37
Hot. I love coffee, so that’s a hot topic for me. I love coffee, so that is very cool. I start my day with coffee, by the way.
Kami 00:42:37 – 00:42:42
Yeah, no, we always joke at Innocomm, that coffee keeps us going as well.
Welcome Witbooi 00:42:42 – 00:43:00
Everybody is just, I think that I would ask if anything should happen to me, God forbid, and I’m put on a drip. It must be a coffee drip. There’s no saline going into these veins. It must be a coffee drip. I want coffee.
Kami 00:43:00 – 00:43:04
Wow. How do you feel about a sci-fi movie night?
Welcome Witbooi 00:43:04 – 00:44:00
Oh, hot. I love sci fi. And people don’t understand why I love sci fi. Even my wife has a problem with me and sci-fi. She’s like, oh, these creatures and stuff. I say, because imagine just a world where you can just lay back and watch the magnificence of us getting to that stage. Things flying the way they are flying. The technology just puts me in the world of imagination. I love that it just draws me away from all the stuff that’s happening in the world. You know, the couch is full of money and GNU and all of these things. It just draws me away from that and puts me in a space where I can just imagine and just find another sense of adventure and just daydream, you know. I don’t know. That’s what I like.
Kami 00:44:00 – 00:44:04
I get that. Yeah. And how do you feel about one-on-one coaching?
Welcome Witbooi 00:44:04 – 00:44:26
Hot. I love one-on-one coaching because it’s also a place where you can focus entirely on the person. You can journey together, you can find each other and it’s also good because there’s not a lot of other stuff because doing that group coaching, you have to focus on everybody’s energies.
Kami 00:44:26 – 00:44:26
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:44:26 – 00:44:41
One-on-one. It’s easy because then you can just really focus on the challenges at hand and work through those things with the person and meet them where they’re at and then guide them to where they need to be. That’s what I love about one on one.
Kami 00:44:41 – 00:44:45
How do you feel about self help books?
Welcome Witbooi 00:44:45 – 00:44:54
Not, not really. I’m not really into self help books. I think I’m more of a person that I look at experience.
Kami 00:44:54 – 00:44:55
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:44:55 – 00:45:23
I look at stepping out there and talking to people. I’m the type of person that if I were to take a taxi, I would have a conversation next to me, in front of me, behind me, and then through that, learn about them, they learn about me. And then together we learn about the challenges we face. And then therefore we can then start exploring possibilities and solutions. Reading about a solution from someone that’s on another side of the world.
Kami 00:45:23 – 00:45:24
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:45:24 – 00:45:57
Doesn’t gel with me. I mean, what about the African context? Sometimes people write books without the understanding of an African context. Because I’m an African child. And what challenges you face as a European are not the same challenges I’m facing as an African child. So it sometimes doesn’t really gel. There are processes, yes, that may work, but not necessarily the integral part of the challenges that we face. The same with when we talk about the US aid, we’ve always believed, as South Africa or as Africa, that we need American aid to survive.
Welcome Witbooi 00:45:57 – 00:46:03
But now that it’s no longer there. We have now come to realise that we actually need to rely on ourselves.
Kami 00:46:03 – 00:46:03
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:46:03 – 00:46:17
So I feel like for me, the US AID was like a self help book. We could just have been focusing on dealing with our own problems, solving our own challenges and finding our own solutions. And we are doing it now and it’s working beautifully.
Kami 00:46:17 – 00:46:25
Yeah. No, I agree with that. And you’re a coffee guy, so how do you feel about putting ice cream in your coffee?
Welcome Witbooi 00:46:25 – 00:46:39
I’ve never tried that, but I’m open to trying that. I love ice cream. I think there’s two things that the gods have given us which the gods also themselves enjoy. It is coffee and ice cream.
Kami 00:46:39 – 00:47:00
Coffee and ice cream. No, the combination of the two hits, like an iced coffee and then instead of like whipped cream on the top, you get ice cream, it hits every time. Now I’m lactose intolerant, so that just results in issues for me. But you should definitely try it. You have a little baby girl. So how do you feel about watching Cocomelon with the kids?
Welcome Witbooi 00:47:00 – 00:47:13
Oh, every single day. Ntombi bring Storm there for me. So when I watch Ntombi. So when I watch Coco Melon.
Kami 00:47:13 – 00:47:14
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:47:14 – 00:47:32
Now I know all the characters of Cocomelon. The wheels of the bus go round and round. So I sit in a meeting and I literally go through those processes. So I do realise how important it is. But for me it’s like that bonding that happens.
Kami 00:47:32 – 00:47:33
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:47:33 – 00:47:50
When we sit in that position and we’re watching CocoMelon or in the morning when she wakes up. Even now when she wakes up, the first thing she wants to see is Cocomelon. And. And so it’s amazing. You know, as a father, I love that about her.
Kami 00:47:50 – 00:47:51
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:47:51 – 00:48:03
And. Yeah. And it just brings out. So. And I mean, when I see her watching Cocomelon and the light that shines through, it’s like so amazing. And I know that people have a lot of things to say about Cocomelon. It’s addictive and stuff.
Welcome Witbooi 00:48:03 – 00:48:24
But I think it’s the environment in which she watches it and how she watches it. And I also think that if there’s a parent, like there’s always her mom is there when she’s watching Cocomelon. I’m there when she’s watching Cocomelon and when she has questions she can ask and you just bond over that. So for me, I feel like that’s the most important part of Cocomelon. That’s what I love.
Kami 00:48:24 – 00:48:40
So I used to watch it with my little cousin. And it’s such a vibe because you do learn all of the songs and all of the characters. But it’s so nice to see, like, how kids are so into it. Like, they really do enjoy what cocomelon does.
Welcome Witbooi 00:48:40 – 00:48:56
Come here. Come, come, Cocomelon. The people here. Let them see you. So she makes it but chili and she’s just coco meloning all the way. Come. You see how nice she comes? Pick her up and bring her that.
Welcome Witbooi 00:48:56 – 00:49:13
So that people can see you. Come on, baby. He’s a bit shy now. Say hello. Here’s my cocomelon. Say hello. Say hello.
Kami 00:49:13 – 00:49:15
How are you?
Welcome Witbooi 00:49:15 – 00:49:17
Say hello. Hi.
Kami 00:49:17 – 00:49:20
Oh, she’s such a pretty little girl. Hi.
Welcome Witbooi 00:49:20 – 00:49:29
So this is Storm and she’s really a storm. And that is what I love about her because she does, as I said, drive me up the walls.
Kami 00:49:29 – 00:49:29
Yeah.
Welcome Witbooi 00:49:29 – 00:49:37
But it’s a good driving up. Even now she’s watching Cocomelon. You love Cocomelon.
Kami 00:49:37 – 00:49:39
She’s adorable.
Welcome Witbooi 00:49:39 – 00:49:41
Bye. Bye.
Kami 00:49:41 – 00:49:44
Bye bye.
Welcome Witbooi 00:49:44 – 00:50:02
That’s my pride and joy. That is what, you know, for me, that is what being a man is really all about. Yeah. And just looking at her growing up and loving her, protecting her, supporting her, that’s what makes my day.
Welcome Witbooi 00:50:02 – 00:50:14
That’s why I can step out of the world and work as hard as I can because I really need to create a better world for her and for others. And for other boys that are vulnerable. So for me, that’s the most important part of the work that we do.
Kami 00:50:14 – 00:50:43
I love that so much. And thank you so much for letting us meet baby Storm. She’s so cute. And that does bring us to the end of hot takes. So thank you so much for joining us today. Welcome. And for giving us such an important perspective on such an important conversation. And I really do hope that today’s message sort of reaches the right people and that it also helps people to sort of find out more about Bright Spark and get more involved in the work that you’re doing and some of the other organisations that are out there as well.
Kami 00:50:43 – 00:50:45
So thank you so much for being here.
Welcome Witbooi 00:50:45 – 00:50:46
Thank you for having me.
Kami 00:50:46 – 00:50:46
Of course. And thank you at home for joining us today. We’ll catch you in the next episode. Bye.